Always A Beginning
by Always Straightedge and proud
Summary: The prequel to Old Memories, A New Start. Still CM Punk/Jeff Hardy slash.
1. Chapter 1

June 25th 2003. Jeff sighed as he pulled out the list of the things that his father had wanted him to pick up at the store, while he was off visiting with relatives. Since he had gave him the list yesterday afternoon, before he had left to spend a couple days with them. Jeff scanned it, before shaking his head and slipped it back into his wallet, hating how he had been tagged for grocery shopping, from his damned brother naming him as the one who had to do it, because he was too much of a lazy ass to do it himself, despite Matt had been ordered to it, but weaseled his way out of it, just because he was busy packing to leave again tomorrow, and offered that since Jeff was jobless, then he could do all the shopping for them now.

Phil froze, when Scott just snatched the clear plastic package of boxers out of his hands, right after he just picked them off the shelf, and was looking at them, thinking about heading to the music area next, to look and see what they had in the type of music, he listened to.

"Look everyone, at what CM Punk wears, under his ring gear."

Phil's face turned red, as he finally yelled and chased after him, after he became aware of everyone staring at them, when Scott had yelled that outloud.

"Dammit it, Scott. Give them back."

Phil growled as he chased him for a few minutes, getting more and more pissed that Scott let him get with two feet, before darting away again, laughing, and waving the package at him. Phil gritted his teeth and came to a dead stop, racking his brain, of trying to figure out how to get the damned thing back. When he seen Scott stop just in front of another aisle, which of course, it had to be in the damned chemical laden pesticides and cleaning supplies, and very aptly named, he thought to himself.

* * *

Phil clenched his fists, took one step towards him, making Scott chuckle. Phil hoped he would be finished with making him chase him, since he was on the verge of going back to the damned mens undergarments and find another package of them. Phil lunged towards him, making Scott vanish down the aisle. Phil growled inwardly, a split second, before he caught sight of a vaguely familiar face, right before he plowed into the person, and heard a surprised grunt of being ran into. A second before they crumpled in a heap to the tiled floor in the household cleaning aisle, at Walmart.

Jeff groaned, as he slowly opened his eyes, and blinked looking up at the medics hovering over him and some bleach blonde headed idiot, who just plowed into him, a second ago. Jeff shoved them away slightly, as he said sharply.

"I am fine, just leave me the hell alone."

Jeff carefully pulled himself up, as he studied the idiot, who looked barely older than 18, then he remembered, where he had seen him, backstage at Ring Of Honor, once a couple months or so ago. Jeff reached down and grabbed everything and put it back on the shelf, that he had knocked to the floor, rubbing at his eye slightly. The medic said quickly.

"Stop, let me put this over that cut, then you should be fine."

Jeff bit his lip, feeling the person cleaning it, then putting a weird looking bandage on the side of his face.

"It's a butterfly suture, it's a nonsurgerial bandage, you can remove it in a day or two. Are you alright, any dizziness or anything?"

Jeff said quietly.

"No, just a pounding headache, but I know what a concussion feels like, and my headache is only from that jackass, not watching where the fuck he was going and slamming into me."

Jeff grabbed the cart dragging it behind him, thankfully that he hadn't got anything fragile or breakage yet. Jeff froze, right after he placed the two packages of rolls and loaf of bread into the child seat of the cart, when he realized that the boyish looking guy was following him. Jeff noticed that he was only carrying a package of boxers, causing Jeff to say slowly, intently making his accent more pronounced.

"Why are you following me for? Are you trying to ask for my autograph or something?"

Phil stammered.

"I am sorry for running into you, it was an accident."

Jeff snorted, but turned his back on him, hoping that he would stop following him.

Ten minutes later. Jeff stood there, his arms crossed, beside the meat display, letting the boy and his friend approach. Jeff said sharply.

"What the hell do you want? I mean seriously, You two have been fucking following me around the store for a few minutes and don't think that I haven't been watching you. But when you have followed someone from the goods section all the way, to the electrics and music, then back here, to the fresh produce section. Then you are obviously wanting something from me, now I want to know what the hell that is. Do you want my autograph? I know that your ring names are, CM Punk and Colt Cabana, or are you two, wanting some advice, but that is comical, if that's the case, from the last match you two had. But I do want the truth and I'm done with playing games."

Phil froze, nervously glancing down at his shoes. Jeff stepped closer, as his voice dropped slightly.

"Or are you asking me, for my number, Punk?"

Phil's mouth fell open, at Jeff's suggestion, but Jeff didn't blink, as he stood there staring at him. Jeff studied Phil, flicking his eyes over his slight figure, then chuckled seeing the tips of his ears turn red, and knew that he was uneasy, about how Jeff had openly checked him out in, a very public place. Jeff said firmly.

"Give me, your cellphone. Surely you have one, don't you? After all, you should have enough money for an actual cellphone and not a cheap prepaid one."

Phil swallowed, then mutely pulled it out of his pocket and handed it over. Jeff examined it, then quickly entered his number, into his contacts and pressed it back into Phil's hands, while saying.

"There, call me anytime you want, but not today. Since I know you have a show in three hours, here in Fayetteville."

Jeff finally started walking away, then stopped and glanced over his shoulder, as he chuckled softly, seeing that the kid was still standing in the spot, where he had left him, and hoped the kid, would know better than to call him, but at the same time, he was wishing him to call him, so he could find out, just how virginal that tight ass of his was truly. Since he didn't look like he had any experience at all, where sex and relationships was concerned. Jeff chuckled again, then pulled the list out, and mentally checked off, everything he got, that was wrote down, thankful that he could checkout and head home finally, before he could escape to his modified recording studio trailer, that he lived and slept in for most part.

* * *

The next day. Jeff laid there, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about painting little stars and moons and suns on it, when his phone rang. Jeff snatched it up from th floor and answered.

"Hello?"

Jeff waited, then came Phil's slightly uneasy voice, as he said.

"Hey, it's me, Punk, or well my real name is actually Phillip or Phil and just thought I should call you, after you had programmed your number into my phone, but at the same time, hid the number, to see if I would be serious about calling you tomorrow, which is now today.. Why did you do that for?"

Jeff chuckled, then said firmly.

"To see how brave you are, Phillip. But tell you what, why don't you wait by the front of your hotel and I will come and pick you up. However first, you will have to check out. Do you have anymore shows here, in Fayetteville?"

Phil swallowed, then forced out, not sure what he was getting himself into, from the sound of Jeff Hardy's voice, that was a mixture of a deadly warning, and being seductive, at the same time.

"No, I mean no, I don't have anymore shows here, I was going to head back to Chicago, after this last one, for a couple weeks rest."

Jeff thought for a minute.

"You can stay here, then. What is the hotel you are staying at? I should be there in anywhere from 35 to 45 minutes, to get you. But you can always say no, just so you know, but of course you are already aware of that. But you say yes, then I will teach you so many things you never knew existed. But I know you have very little knowledge about a certain subject, that you know, to what I am referring to."

Phil closed his eyes, and pressed his lips together briefly, then told him the name of the hotel, hearing Jeff chuckle.

"Yes, I imagine that you can't wait to leave that motel, then. What about your tagalong?"

Phil sighed wearily.

"Oh, Scott, he went back to Chicago already and tried to urge me, to go home as well, but I couldn't go home, and not call your number. I will meet you outside at the end of the drive, Jeff."

* * *

An hour later. Jeff parked the car, after he had stopped, seeing Phil pacing back and forth, looking for him. Jeff chuckled, enjoying the view, before he tapped the horn, getting his attention, Phil paused, then hurried across the street, when he knew the road was clear.

Ten minutes later. Jeff pulled into a little strip mall parking lot, and said simply.

"You can come inside, if you want to. But I have to get a few things from this place, real quick, but my dad would be furious at me, coming here."

Jeff shurgged, then climbed out of the car. Phil swallowed, when he realized what the store was, then told himself sternly, that it was for Jeff's own use.

Thirty minutes later. Jeff parked the car and turned off the car, and said.

"Well I know this isn't much, but it's where I normally stay for most part and sleep as well. Don't worry, noone will be inside."

Jeff climbed out of the car, after he had opened the trunk and grabbed the brown bag of the three books, he bought, and stood there waiting for Phil to get out. Jeff hid a smile, when Phil carefully closed the trunk again, then Jeff led him to his trailer and quickly unlocked the door, and led him inside Jeff gestured at the couch.

"You can sleep there, since this place only has one bedroom, and one bathroom. I do live here, but I normally eat at my dad's place. I will be right back, but this are for you."

Jeff shoved the brown bag at him, before he walked down the hallway, heading to grabb the spare blanket, sheets and pillow for Phil. Jeff paused, when he returned and seen, Phil had his head in his hands, staring meekly down at the books. Phil swallowed, touching the cover of the first book, wishing now that he hadn't called him, but he couldn't take it back now.

"You never said no, but you didn't say yes, either, Phillip. But I have zero desire to press you to do anything, that you aren't ready for, nor are you comfortable with. But with me, not having a job I have all the time in the world. If you say yes, even then it will be at least 5 to 7 weeks, before we actually do anything at all. I just figured that you should read those books and familiarize yourself with everything inside them. But here, I bought these out for you. if you are sleeping on the couch, then you will need these."

Jeff set the covers and pillow down beside him.

* * *

A month later. Jeff leaned over Phil, as he pressed his lips to his mouth, feeling him trembling slightly under his fingertips slowly caressing his body, as they laid there on the bed in Jeff's recording studio.

"In a few days, we will be heading back, to the apartment, we have in Chicago, but I think after that, we should pack and go spend a week, up at the great lake, that connects Indiana with Michighen and, of course Illionis."

Jeff paused, then pulled back, as he stared down at Phil and asked suddenly.

"But first, do you mind, if I did something, Phillip? I promise that you will enjoy it."

Phil chewed on his lip, knowing that in everything they had did so far, Jeff had never hurried to pushed him into something he wasn't ready for yet, but at the same time he had a idea of what Jeff was wanting to do to him, if they had yet to have full fledged sex, or anything close to it, since Jeff hadn't even pressed to have him strip naked yet, although he had been exploring his upper body with his hands and mouth for the last couple of weeks. Phil finally swallowed and gave a slight nod to him. Jeff said softly.

"Good, you will love every second of this, I promise."

Jeff got up and walked over and shut, then locked the door, before returning and climbed back onto the bed and deftly removed Phil's shoes and socks, followed by his pants and boxers, running his finger, inside of the band first, then tugged them down. Jeff tilted his head slightly, taking in the full image of seeing Phil naked for the first time. Phil pressed his lips together, at the sly smirk, that was tugging at Jeff's lips, then Jeff inched backwards slightly and lowered his head, slipping his tongue out and swirling his tongue across the tip of Phil's cock, then around the head, tasting him for the first time, getting a soft whimper from Phil, at the warm and wet sensation, he was feeling, from Jeff's tongue caressing that part of him.

Jeff raised his head, as he said thoughtfully, while glancing up at Phil.

"Not bad at all, although we shall have to do something about these mess soon enough, Phil."

Jeff brushed his fingers through his pubic hair, then lowered his head again, slowly dragging his tongue up and down Phil's shaft, enjoying how he tasted. Jeff finally ran his tongue under the head of Phil's cock and drew it into his mouth, sucking softly on it, as he swirled his tongue around the head, as he drew him into his mouth more, hearing Phil's breathing becoming labored, at Jeff's gentle but firm sucking on his cock, and licking his cock at the same time, in a slow, unhurried manner.

Jeff finally started moving his lips up and down Phil's cock, when he finally started moaning softly, and squirming around slightly. Jeff dug his fingers into his hips lightly, keeping him in place, making him start whimpering, as Jeff increased the motion of his tongue, attacking the head of his cock relentlessly now, swirling the tip of his tongue mercilessly into the slit, relishing with every taste of it, causing him start slurping hungrily on Phil's cock, making him arch his back, as he was gasping for air, and not being able to move, from the ironclad grip, Jeff's fingers had on his hips, pinning him to the bed.

Jeff removed his fingers long enough, to wrap his arms around Phil's thighs, pushing them up, where his legs was splayed apart, making him even more immobile as Jeff continued his neverending assault on his cock, until Phil gave a half scream, and his whole body jerked, when he came hard, inside Jeff's mouth, then felt him swallowing everything down, then he carefully licked Phil's cock clean. Jeff paused, then gently pulled Phil's trembling legs out straight, and slowly kissed his way back up to his mouth, before he hovered over him, then kissed his lips gently and said.

"Was it everything, that I promised it would be, to you, Phillip?"

Phil nodded weakly, unable to open his eyes, just yet.

"Alright, I see that you need some time to recover. Just remember I will always ask for your permission, before I ravage you, at times, but that will be much later. I promise to you that much. Since we haven't even had actual sex yet, but everything in steps."

Jeff paused, then said.

"I can show you, mine, if you want, since you haven't seen me completely nude yet."

Phil covered his face with his hands, as he shook his head weakly. Jeff chuckled.

"Alright, I figured you aren't ready for that, maybe in a few days or tomorrow, just when you are ready, then it would be my honor, Phillip. Just maybe, maybe when we will have sex, then, but nothing is set in stone. Since this is the first time I seen you completely nude. I know that you have gotten used to me being shirtless, but you are nowhere around, when I am nude, like when I'm getting out or about to jump in the shower. Well now I think, that is our next step, before we consider sex, you have to get comfortable and enjoy seeing me nude. We can start today."

Phil's eyes flashed open instantly. Jeff chuckled.

"Not right now, but later, you will be taking a shower with me and you can stare at me and touch me as much you want or as little as you want."

Phil bit his lip, then said weakly.

"Okay, but I don't think that I am ready for it."

Jeff stared at him, then sat back, making sure that Phil's gaze was on him. Jeff calmly unzipped his fly, seeing a touch of worry flicker very briefly in Phil's eyes, but was replaced by a slightly nervous, but mostly curious look in his eyes. Jeff chuckled.

"Yes, Phillip, you are ready. Perhaps right now."

Fear flashed in his eyes briefly, causing Jeff to say softly.

"Alright, maybe not right now, but today yes, you will see what I look like without any clothes on. You was fine and a little curious, when I had unzipped my pants, right until I said that I would strip right this moment. Just so you know I only said it, to see if you would get fearful at my words or not."

Phil sighed, making Jeff lean forward and start kissing him softly, as he caressed his arms and chest. Jeff moved slightly and said into his ear.

"Going to lay down, and if you think you are ready, like I believe you are. I will stil laying down, until you decide to undress me, no matter how long it takes. We don't have anywhere to be for some time."

* * *

An hour later. Jeff led Phil into the bathroom, and closed the door behind them. Jeff nodded at the shower, causing Phil to turned and silently climb into it. Jeff joined him after making sure the door was locked and turned the water on. Phil gasped when they was hit by a blast of ice cold water for a few seconds, then it warmed up to just barely warmer than lukewarm at times.

"I know, the water pressure, is a little funky in here. I am sorry for it."

Phil sighed, then stiffened, feeling Jeff loosely wrap his arms around his waist. Jeff whispered softly.

"Phillip, you have to get used to it, it's what couples do."

"I know, but I haven't been naked in the shower wi-with another guy before. I don't know what to think or how to react."

Jeff chuckled and said simply.

"Oh, Phillip, I know you haven't. Why do you think that you are here now for?"

Phil swallowed as he thought for a second, then said.

"Because you wanted me to be your lover."

Jeff chuckled again.

"Yes, perhaps that as well. but the main reason, is that, I wanted you for more than just being my lover, and I also wanted to teach you. Let's face it, you are a virgin, or an assvirgin more aptly. Speaking of which. Do you mind, if I did something? I'd have to do this sooner or later. But I do want to prep your ass, since we are in the shower and the steam will make your ass be more relaxed, but only with my fingers, are the only things, I will probe your ass with, right now."

Phil swallowed hard, then nodded. Jeff wrapped his arm around his waist, holding him in place, so that he was staring down at his face, as his other arm snaked around to Phil's firm ass. Jeff patted it and fondled it and rubbed his hand all over it, hearing Phil whimper at his actions, causing him to say softly.

"I know, this is making you, uncomfortable, Phillip. But it's just my way, of trying to get a feel, for your ass. If you don't want me to do this, just say no and I will stop, I promise."

Jeff gently spread Phil's asscheeks, carefully pressing his thumb against Phil's pucker, feeling it shrink at his touch. Jeff rubbed his thumb over it slowly, hearing Phil suck in a deep breath, then exhaled it just as deeply. Jeff switched fingers and tapped his index finger against it, then finally and slowly pushed his finger inside Phil's ass, seeing him press his lips together instantly.

"I know, it's slightly uncomfortable now, just remember, it's your choice. But it will get better over a period of time and I plan to go slow, in prepping your ass to accept my fingers, then fucking your ass with my fingers, and my cock at a later time. But Phillip, I didn't just want to fuck you, if I wanted to have a lover, I would've hit a couple clubs, for one of those. But I saw you and knew you knew next to nothing about sex, love and relationships and I wanted to teach you, that's why I made it hard to find my cellphone number, to make sure you truly wanted me, the way I wanted you."

Phil swallowed and said in a trembling voice, making Jeff's hand still instantly.

"Part of me, wants you to stop, but the rest of me, wants you to keep going, but I know it's just my fear, wanting to stop this. But seeing how gentle you have been, teaching me, never wavering, no how matter times, that I have pulled away or something else. You have always been reassuring me, that I don't have to be here or do anything. But my body and heart and half of my mind wants this and so that is the direction I am leaning towards. And when you tell me, that I can say no, but at the same time, also reassuring me, that the uncomfortable feeling will vanish and I know it will probably hurt, the first time, you are inside my ass and I mean your cock. I am nervous to touch or even look at that part of you, but I can sense the you have zero desire to hurt me and makes me trust you that much more."

Jeff smiled, then kissed him, seeing Phil's eyes close, at the feel of his lips on his mouth, then Phil leaned into his kiss, placing his hands on his hips carefully. Jeff leaned back, watching his face, and seeing his eyes slowly open again.

"You don't have to move your hands, Phillip. You can keep them on my hips as long as you want, in fact. I am glad you are touching me."

Jeff moved his finger slightly, Phil bit his lip after a few seconds. Jeff said simply.

"Alright, that's enough. Time for us to get out and relax for a while."

* * *

Thirty minutes later. Phil sighed softly, feeling Jeff running his fingers all over his bare skin, then kissed him softly. Jeff laid down, pulling Phil close, causing him to ask.

"Why did you quit earlier, Jeff?"

Jeff glanced at him, then said simply.

"Because, Phillip. You told me no."

Phil furrowed his brow, causing Jeff to chuckle, then said.

"You bit your lip, Phillip, and it was obvious from your face, you wanted me to stop, so I did, besides the water was getting cold again. You don't have to verbally tell me no, that's why I study you and have been getting used to touching your body, so that I know how you feel and look, when you are fine with something and uncomfortable, or you want me to stop. I have to familiarize myself with these things, since and don't be alarmed, but at some point, I will have you enjoy playing during and before sex, sometimes after sex, and some of those times, you will be blindfolded, gagged and tied up."

Phil froze slightly, then sighed in slight relief, when he realized that would be a long time to come.

"Don't worry, Phillip. I have no intentions of forcing that on you, until you are ready and just like getting you slowly used to having sex with me. I will start slow, and will gag you last of all and it won't be this year, I can promise you. I might have your hands tied together around Christmas, perhaps. But not before then that time, rest assured."


	2. Chapter 2

Phil sighed, and gave Jeff a slight nod, then said softly.

"Thanks for not rushing."

Jeff chuckled, then cupped Phil's face and kissed him firmly, then pulled back and stated.

"When we have sex, Phil. I will make damn certain, you will scream out at least once. But come on, tell me, are you still scared about seeing me completely naked, Phil?"

Phil stared at him, jeff stood there, watching Phil's gaze flicker over his body, Jeff chuckled, and placed his arm around his shoulders, leading him out of the bathroom, after he had tied a towel around his waist and doing the same for Phil. Jeff pulled him back into the bedroom, kissing him, before whispering.

"So you want to leave, from not being satisfied, Phil?"

Phil laughed, and walked over and sat down on Jeff's lap, causing Jeff to wrap his arms around him tightly. Phil leaned against him, while saying.

"How can I not decide something like that, until after we have sex, but I think after we first have sex, I will be so hopelessly in love with you, that I would never be able to leave you, ever."

Jeff started kissing his neck softly, as he ran his hands up and down Phil's stomach, making him swallow. Jeff shifted, flexing his hips against Phil's ass, making him give a faint gasp, but didn't struggle, causing Jeff to slip his fingers slowly down inside the loosely tied towel, as he slipped his fingers underneath Phil's balls and cock, where they was resting in his palm. Jeff squeezed them slightly, then started moving his fingers slowly up and down Phil's cock

Jeff murmured.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Phillip?"

Phil squirmed slightly, when Jeff started stroking his cock, in earnst, giving it little squeezes every few seconds. Jeff abruptly pulled his hand out of towel, then ran his fingers slowly over the little rings that was through Phil's nipples. Jeff shifted, then stood up, with his arms firmly around Phil, before he sat him on the bed and kissed him, then pushed him flat, as he lowered his head, pressing his lips, first to the right one. When Phil was gasping and shuddering at his intense attention, Jeff raised his head slightly, and focused on the left nipple ring, until Phil was openly squirming under his mouth. Jeff pulled back finally, looking up at his face, before he sighed and said softly

"We have to pack and head to the airport, Phillip. So we can meet up with Scott, then head up to that beach house, we rented, for the week and weekend."

Phil grunted, in slight frustation. Jeff chuckled and kissed his neck, as he pulled Phil back up to a sitting position.

"I know, I know, I can see how frustated you are, trust me, I'm just as frustated as you are, my dear precious, Phillip. If you are that ready, and I think you might be, then we will have sex, at the beach house or rather, I will make love so sweet, to you, that you will think you might die, from everything that I just did to you."

Phil snorted. Jeff said firmly.

"We will see, who is laughing, at the end, Phillip. You will be surprised, mark my words. I will show you, just how much I do and what I have planned for you. Just you wait, you will scream, count on it. But I promise that you will see how much I know and just how truly talented I am."

* * *

Three days later. Jeff was reclining on a lounge chair, as he watched Phil and Scott goofing off, throwing handfuls of wet sand at each other, before Scott finally honed in on a brunette several yards away, after several minutes, causing Phil stare after him, then shake his head, before walking over to Jeff, who had pushed himself up to his feet, then gently took Phil's arms, casting a concerned eye over him, when he saw that Phil's shoulders was slightly pink.

"Geez, Phil, you look like you are close to being burnt. Come on, I had enough of the sand and lake for today."

Ten minutes later. Phil whimpered, feeling Jeff gently patting his back dry, after he had smeared lotion, all over his shoulders and back.

"I know it's cold, but hopefully it will keep you from blistering, but I don't know, Phil. But come on. I want to show you something."

Jeff walked until Phil stood up, then he picked him up suddenly, before carrying him, into their bedroom and gently laid him down on the bed. Jeff stared down at him, before he walked back over and shut, then locked the door, making sure it was securely, and returned to the bed, pulling his pants and boxers off.

Phil swallowed, when he saw Jeff completely, which still made him catch his breath, for two reasons, which he could see that Jeff was already slightly aroused, making him nervous about having it inside his ass, and the second reason, being Jeff looked so much better, when he wasn't wearing clothes of any kind, making Jeff arch his right eyebrow, with a soft chuckle, as he climbed onto the bed, and pulled off, Phil's still slightly damp swimming trunks.

"You see something that you like, Phil, or something you love?"

Phil bit his lip, before he pressed his lips together, causing Jeff to kiss him gently, then place a series of featherlight kisses down his neck, to his chest, across his stomach, then kissed his way back up to Phil's mouth, while he was slowly running his fingers all over Phil's thighs, at times stroking his thumb over the very end of Phil's cock, and getting a soft gasp each time, as he caught his gaze on his face. Jeff said firmly.

"Phil, I am not going to grab or fondle you, unless you want me to, then I will be all to happy to do that, but it's your choice and I won't force anything on you, I promise you here and now. I know my left thumb is touching you there, but if it's making you uncomfortable, tell me and I will stop. Since I can see, just how real this moment has became for you."

Phil sighed softly, then rest his hands on Jeff's forearms, keeping his gaze on Jeff's face, as he said softly.

"I have no desire, of telling you to stop what you are currently doing to me, Jeff. Not at all, in fact. I want you to, but I am also nervous, about having this thing inside my ass."

Phil moved his hand, brushing his fingers against Jeff's cock, feeling it stirring at his touch. Jeff chuckled and reached down, covering Phil's hand, and said firmly.

"Phil, you can squeeze, touch, fondle or do anything you wish with your fingers against my cock. Or you can use your mouth, if you want to. I have no desire to have sex with you, because you are slightly burnt, therefore, I doubt it will be right, for me to do such a thing, and also, you aren't ready for us having sex, just yet."

"I'm fine, truly I am and it's best for us to have sex now. Since tomorrow will be a different story and then I will be hurting. Please, I want you and I mean all of you, Jeff. Tonight, not tomorrow."

Jeff stared at him, then he sighed, before he climbed off the bed, and pulled Phil up to his feet, and stood there staring at him. Jeff ran his left thumb over Phil's bottom lip, before kissing him, then he whispered softly into his ear.

"Are you sure, Phil? Because I don't want to do something, that will hurt you even more."

Phil reached up and kissed him suddenly. Jeff chuckled, as he studied Phil's face, then he bought his hands up, gliding them around to his ass, and jerked Phil up against the front of his body, letting Phil feel Jeff's semi-erection pressed against his right thigh.

"Let's test just how willing you are at this moment, Phillip."

Jeff wrapped one arm around his waist, letting his fingers rub over Phil's entrance, then he shifted, turning Phil around, so that he was facing the bed. Jeff locked his arms around Phil's waist, pulling him tightly against the front of his body, letting Phil feel his cock pressed firmly against his ass, and positioned slightly at his entrance. Phil swallowed, his mouth slightly dry from how nervous he was at Jeff's actions. Jeff kissed and nibbled along the left side of his neck, and along the top of his left shoulder, before he whispered softly.

"I can tell that you are nervous, Phillip. But what I don't know, or well, I'm not sure, if you're being nervous is from excitement or being afraid at the thought, of what is poking at your ass slightly, will be inside your ass soon enough, or is it both things? But I think your skin is just burnt enough, where you are telling the truth, that you are fine, and perhaps you got out of the sun quick enough to prevent being burnt. Tomorrow will tell the tale, but for now, let's focus on today or rather this minute, in the position we are in right now."

Phil pressed his lips together, then sighed heavily.

"I don't know, but, I'm leaning towards, having excitement and fear warring inside me. I know you won't intentionally hurt me, but at the same time. I am not a big fan of sharp stabbing pains and I know the pain will be brief, but it will still hurt, no matter how much you do to minimize it."

Phil tried to turn away, but realized he couldn't turn away from Jeff, since there was no turning away from Jeff, as he kept his arms locked firmly around his waist, as he went back to kissing and nibbling on Phil's neck and shoulders, and running his fingers lightly up and down Phil's body, squeezing his cock each time Jeff ran his hands past his naval, intentionally keeping Phil distracted and his mind cloudy from the pleasurable sensations racing throughout his body. Phil chewed on his lip, gasping everytime Jeff squeezed his cock, before he heard Jeff's muffled words against his neck.

"One step at a time, Phil. We have all the time, for actual sex. So I flat out refuse to rush to, having sex, until the perfect moment. But consider this as practice and helping you to adjust. I might rub myself against you, a few times, but it's also part of the conditioning. However I do want to know, and that is. Am I scaring you, Phillip, in what I am doing?"

Jeff released his waist and turned him around, so that he was watching his face. Phil said firmly.

"No, Jeff, you aren't. I can tell, or rather it's so clearly obvious, you won't miss a single detail, but also you make sure that what you are seeing and feeling, is the same thing that I'm feeling and you don't know just how much that makes me trust you even more, because of that, Jeff and I know also, I am truly and madly in love with you."

Phil covered his face, causing Jeff to pull his hands down gently, then he gently cupped Phil's face, pressing his lips softly against Phil's mouth, then whispered.

"Oh, Phil. I know you are in love with me, and deeply at that and I am in love, just as deeply with you as well. But, are you okay, now?"

Phil swallowed, forcing the reasonless fears, that Jeff would hurt him, down again, and gave him a slight nod. Jeff kissed him again, and said softly.

"Good, I'm pleased to hear that."

"You scare me, Jeff. I don't mean when we finally have sex, no, it's more like I never thought I could ever feel like with anyone. I'm scared at what you are doing to me, mentally."

"Love is scary, Phil. Because you put yourself out that, and risk being burned and hurt in the process. But you are here, because you are ready to step out into the great unknown, of loving another man. But you shouldn't worry, because I want you as much as you want me, and I also want to teach you of how many ways there are to feel pleasure, during things, while we are having sex or fucking or making love."

* * *

Jeff started kissing him again softly, letting his hands slide up and tangle slightly in his hair, as their lips met repeatedly, until Jeff released his hair, a couple minutes later, to study his face, hiding a smile, seeing how labored Phil's breathing had became. Jeff kissed his neck softly, then abruptly gathered Phil up and crawled on his knees, onto the bed, then laid Phil down pulling the covers out from under Phil's body, as he went back to kissing his mouth slowly.

Phil gasped suddenly, feeling Jeff's hands running all over his body, from where he was laying underneath Jeff's body and feeling the heaviness of his weight pressing him into the mattress below.

"Do you think that I'm going to hurt you, Phil?"

"No. But I won't lie, that I'm not exactly uncomfortable or nervous, it's more like I don't know what to do and I'm nervous that I won't measure up to your expectations of what you are used to."

For a second, silence reigned, then Phil felt Jeff's body shaking as he was laughing too hard to talk for several seconds. Jeff coughed and wiped at his eyes, then finally said.

"Stop it, Phil. I mean it, enough with the damned thoughts of de-valuing yourself. I am here, because I love you and I did want to smack you for thinking that way, but that would be wrong to do something like that. As for not knowing what to do, that is the reason I wanted you, or one of the reasons, Phil. Nothing else matters as much to me, as showing you and doing things you could never think of, nor dream of that is pleasurable. Your body is like a blank canvas, right now. I think you are ready for us to have sex, right now."

Phil froze. Jeff chuckled softly, before leaning up to kiss him softly, as he wrapped his long fingers around Phil's cock, squeezing it gently, then started moving his fingers slowly up and down Phil's half erect cock, getting a faint whimper, in between Jeff kissing him. Jeff whispered softly.

"This is a form of sex, Phil and I was getting you used to having another man play with your cock, and stroke it, in the future, this will be foreplay, but for right now. I prefer to fuck a cock, in this manner, by that I mean with my mouth, not my hands."

Jeff removed his fingers and closed his mouth firmly around the head of Phil's cock, before Phil could protest, licking repeatedly at the slit for, a couple minutes, then feeling Phil's girth steadily increasing. Jeff kept adjusting his position, until he was sliding his mouth up and down Phil's cock, before he removed his mouth suddenly, getting a faint whimper from Phil. Jeff chuckled, then pulled Phil up on his knees, before he said, huskily.

"I want you to stand up on the bed, Phil."

Phil looked at him, before pulling himself up.

"Good, since you enjoyed that so much, you are really going to enjoy this, Phillip."

Jeff moved, so that he was sitting up on his knees, as he leaned against the headboard, then pulled Phil to him and sealed his lips on Phil's cock again, sucking softly at first, then he locked his arms around Phil's waist, keeping him in place, as he attacked the tip relentlessly with his tongue. Phil yelped, then cried out, each time, he felt Jeff's tongue lashing and slurping at the slit, knowing that it'd be sweet torture for the next few minutes.

Phil grabbed onto the headboard, at the same time, he felt Jeff move one arm and touch his balls, then pulled down on them slightly, making him gasp, when his need to climax vanished, and he realized that Jeff right right about his body being a canvas for Jeff to paint deep, unimaginable pleasure upon on. Jeff started deep throating Phil's cock, as well as slurping at the head of his cock and preventing his climax twice more, until Phil's legs was trembling.

Jeff locked his arms around Phil's waist, sliding his lips up and down Phil's shaft, increasing his pace, causing Phil to be swirling out of control, as he drowned in a sea of pleasure, then screamed out his release, barely aware of him shooting cum down Jeff's throat, whose arms was the only thing keeping him upright Since his fingers lost their grip on the headboard.

Jeff swallowed every bit down, then removed his mouth and gently laid Phil down on the bed, resting his weight once more on Phil's prone, and now drenched with sweat and trembling body. Jeff kissed him, then said quietly, as he gently dried Phil's sweaty and he noticed tearstreaked face. Phil coughed twice, then whimpered, with a horribly dry mouth.

"I'm fine, or I think I am still alive, at least. If you can do that to me, during oral sex. By god, I couldn't even being to fathom, what actual sex would be like."

Jeff kissed him again, then slipped off the bed, then returned a couple minutes after, and helped Phil sit up to take a few sips of water. Phil coughed again, then shook his head, when Jeff offered the glass to him again. Jeff set it down on the nightstand, before helping him lay down on the bed once more.

"It's your choice, if you want me to continue, Phil."

"I will die, Jeff. I would literally die, if you could do that to me, during oral sex, then refuse to show me what actual sex is like. Ask me again after you fucked or made love to me and made me bleed like some virgin, who just lost lost what made them a child or an adult."

Jeff stared at him, for a few seconds, before Phil saw a small smile spread across his lips, then Jeff laughed finally, and kissed him again, and asked firmly.

"Are you sure?"

Phil nodded. Jeff swiftly pulled Phil's hips up slightly, slipping a pillow under his hips and the next second, he was probing firmly at Phil's pucker, rubbing his fingers over it, then he slipped his index finger inside Phil's ass, hearing Phil's sharp inhale, Jeff started moving his finger slowly, for a couple of minutes, before adding a second finger moving them back and forth, while saying.

"It will hurt, Phil. So that is why, we will do it for the first time in the tub. Be much easier on both of us, actually."

* * *

Jeff removed his fingers and gathered Phil up, climbing off the bed, without giving Phil a chance to refuse or change his mind. Phil bit his cheek, when they was sitting in the bathtub as it filled. Jeff kept cupping handfuls of water and letting it cascade over his body, and kissing him in the same spot. Jeff pushed him back first against the foot of the tub, then licked up and down Phil's chest and stomach, and tugging gently on his nipple rings, then he moved down moving his head back and forth, allowing the wet ends of his long hair brush against Phil's groin, getting a couple soft groans.

Jeff turned him around, so that he was facing the wall. Jeff started squeezing and fondling his ass, slipping his fingers back inside Phil, then moving them back and forth, before he removed then, and turned and shut the water off, then cupped water and dumped it over Phil's ass, making sure the water streamed down between his cheeks. Jeff moved, gripping Phil's hips and rubbed his fully hard erection against Phil's pucker, making him gasp. Jeff said firmly.

"Here's a clean washrag, might be better, for you to bit on it. Because I won't lie, it will hurt you."

Phil swallowed, and took the washrag, stared at it, then covered his mouth, at the same second, he felt Jeff bury himself fully inside his ass. Phil bit down hard on the cloth, strifling a sharp cry against it. Phil blinked back tears, then removed the washrag. Jeff whispered in his ear, softly.

"Are you alright, Phil? I know that I hurt you and I feel bad about it."

Phil swallowed again, then whimpered.

"I'm fine, just please don't feel bad. We both knew it had to happen, neither of us, had a choice in the manner, not truly. I knew you would hurt me, unintentionally, but indirectly intentionally at the same time."

Jeff gently rubbed his fingers over the tops of Phil's shoulders, feeling him trembling slightly at his touch.

"I'm fine, truly I am, Jeff."

"I'm sure you are. But it hurts less, if you relax and I can tell that you are tense somewhat. Just think of what I did to you, a few minutes ago, Phil. And what I still plan on doing to you, during us having sex for the first time."

Jeff flexed his hips slightly, making Phil give a sharp gasp. Jeff moved his hands around, where he was running his hands all over Phil's chest and stomach, before he started stroking Phil's cock, as he was kissing and breathing lightly on the nape of Phil's neck and his shoulders, nibbling on his skin at times. Phil finally started panting, gasping feeling the strange sensation of pushing and pulling deep inside him, as Jeff moved slowly, letting him get comfortable with them having actual sex, at last.

Phil leaned against Jeff's chest, before he froze, when he moaned loudly. Jeff chuckled, and kept kissing his neck slowly.

"See, it didn't take long to become pleasurable for you, did it, Phil?"

"It's more than that, Jeff."

Jeff chuckled again, and increased his pace slightly, making Phil gasp, at the unexpected and very intense stab of pleasure, from what Jeff did.

"Did you like that, Phil?"

"Yes."

"Good, I'll do it again and again, until you come."

Phil bit his lip, then cried out sharply, when Jeff made good on his vow, shoving himself as deep as he could, then withdrawing, almost completely, then slamming back inside his ass, never missing stabbing at Phil's prostate for several minutes. Jeff wrapped his hand around Phil's cock and started stroking it firmly, in a swift manner, as his left arm snaked around Phil's waist, steadying him as Jeff kept thrusting in and withdrawing briefly.

Phil tightened his grip on the lip of the bathtub, feeling himself bucking his hips against Jeff's hand, as his hand kept sliding up and down his shaft quickly. Jeff murmured.

"Hmm, so close, almost there baby."

Phil's climax hit him almost with no warning, causing him to come with a loud yell, at the same time, he felt Jeff release, and immediately feeling Jeff's cum squirting rapidly in thick ribbons inside his ass as Jeff made two more thrusts, grunting deep into Phil's ear. Phil hung his head slightly, thankful, that Jeff's arms was around his waist, since he could feel his legs trembling slightly and knew they wouldn't bear his weight for, a few minutes yet.

* * *

Several minutes later. Phil gave a barely audible sigh, when Jeff gently laid him down on their king sized bed, in the bedroom that they claimed for themselves, in the rental house.

"Oh my sweet and very dear precious Phillip. Time for us to rest or rather for you to sleep and I will stay right here, holding you, in my arms, until you get enough restoration sleep. But was it everything, that I promised and you thought of, and more?"

Phil mumbled something, then repeated himself, louder.

"There are no words for what happened, Jeff."

Jeff laughed, then kissed him tenderly, as he pulled the covers up around their naked forms.


End file.
